Hustle and Bustle

Amidst all the hustle and bustle of engagements, wedding planning, and Thanksgiving, this verse keeps finding its way into my heart:

"Give thanks to The Lord, for He is good. His steadfast love endures forever." 
Psalm 107:1

Sometimes when everything in life is going great, we almost forget God is there. Our jobs are secure, our family is happy, we have enough money to buy our extra wants on the side, and somehow we forget where it all comes from. We think that we are the ones that deserve the money. We think we are the reason our family is so happy. It's because we're so awesome that everything falls into place.

But then something goes wrong. We get in arguments. We lose our job. Our money isn't as much as we want. And suddenly, we aren't blaming ourselves anymore. We "created" the great things, but when something goes wrong it isn't us to blame. It's our circumstances, or another person around us.

That's most likely when we turn to Jesus. We're down in the dumps and we need a pick me up to get back to the good ol' days, so why not ask the One Himeself? I mean, if God can do anything, He will help us right?

That is where this verse comes in. As much as we pray for help, we should triple the amount of praise we give God for the great things He does, and the blessings we experience.

So you had a bad day at work...you're still breathing, aren't you? Thank God. You still get a paycheck. Thank God. Your car runs? Thank God.

~*~*~

I have been SO blessed lately. I recently got engaged, so I've been consumed with early wedding plans and spending time with friends and family. It would be so easy for me to push God to the side, and just live my busy life, enjoying every moment of it.

But nothing good comes from me. I am a sinner. I am selfish. I am unclean. God is the one providing for me. He is the one giving me all of these blessings.

During this holiday time, don't forget Jesus. Not just when you're down, or when you're praying for dinner. Remember Him in the morning when you have the blessing of waking up. Remember Him when you're driving to work. Remember Him when you're feeling good, or bad.

Praise God for this short life here on Earth.

Praise God for the blessings that we can't even comprehend that await His children in Heaven.

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

I'm sure everyone already knows this, as I have made sure to tell every single person I've ever met in my entire life....but just in case you've lived under a rock this weekend and had know idea:

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!

I was led on the most romantic scavenger hunt Saturday through all the places that Ethan and I have shared that are special. Each place had a love letter and a dozen roses, and it eventually led to me Yates Mill Pond (where I got lost....) to my best friend waiting for me. Don't worry guys, I cried. A lot. It was so meaningful and romantic.

The part that really got to me was the last letter that Ethan had left me, in the exact spot he would get down on one knee.

The letter included a prayer that Ethan has been praying for months. A prayer for me, and a prayer for our relationship. Not just that we would be happy and all of those other cliche things, but a prayer that we would grow in our relationship with God. A prayer that we would keep God first in our relationships, and that we would never let anything of this world overcome our love for God and our love for each other.

The beauty of marriage is so much more than two people that love each other spending their lives together. The true beauty of marriage is how it symbolizes Christ's love for the church and the people of this world. Marriage is the closest earthly picture of what our relationship will look like with Jesus. This is why God created marriage.

I have grown to love Ethan so much in these past 21 months. He has become my best friend and my sidekick. He's helped me learn how to be selfless and sacrifice for others and learn how to serve better. The greatest part about our relationship, however, is that I've become so much closer to Jesus. My prayer life has deepened. My desire to read scripture and talk to God is on fire. I want to spend my life as a missionary with this man. I want to talk about Jesus more; I want to be closer to Jesus than I've ever desired.

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Ethan, growing together and growing with God. This has been such a memorable weekend, and I can't wait to see what the months to come have in store!

 

Zacchaeus! You come down!

Luke 19 tells the story of a man named Zacchaeus, the chief tax collector in Jericho. Back then, the tax collectors were Jews, chosen by the Romans, to be responsible for taking the taxes and money owed to the government. The sticky thing about this, however, is that these Jews had the ability to cheat their own people, taking even more than they owed, because the Romans told them anything additional they took, they could keep. If the Jews declined to give the tax collector the money they asked for, the handy dandy Roman soldiers were there to let them know who was boss, sometimes even to the point of killing them. Zacchaeus had become filthy rich taking money from his own people. The Jews described tax collectors as "filthier than an animal," which basically meant that they weren't even worthy to be called a human.

Zacchaeus, whom was incredibly short by the way, heard that Jesus was coming to town. Since no one even gave a flip about him, he had to climb up into a tree in order to even see Jesus pass by. Jesus noticed him though. In verse 5 He said, "Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for I must stay at your house today."

Weird, right? Especially considering staying with someone at their house was incredibly personal and seen as a high social accomplishment. Why would Jesus want to hang out with the man who steals money from his own people? What could he possibly have in common with someone who is so obsessed with financial gain that they gave up their societal rights just to make more money?

Of all of the names that we call Jesus, "friend of sinners" is one of my favorites.

Jesus loved Zacchaeus regardless of his occupation. He loved Zacchaeus regardless of his idolatry of money, and because of that, Zacchaeus freely received that love and grace. You know what else he did? In verse 8 he says, "Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold." Money was no good to Zacchaeus anymore. Money couldn't love him the way Jesus could. It couldn't comfort him, hold him, or provide for him the way Jesus could.

The difference between Christianity and a lot of other religions, is that those other religions preach that good works will help you. Good works will save you and allow you to be accepted by the higher powers. If your change your life and become better, than you will be accepted. Jesus says the exact opposite. Jesus says, you already are accepted, and that compels you to want to change.

God's acceptance isn't the reward for having cleaned up your life; it is the power to actually clean up.

Zacchaeus came to Jesus filthy with sin. By because of his love and belief, Jesus said that salvation came to his house (v9). Zacchaeus didn't go change and then run back for acceptance, the acceptance of Jesus came straight to him. He chose to follow Jesus, which meant he couldn't follow money anymore, and that was okay with him!

Most religions say "Go and do." Jesus says, "It's already been done."

Don't think that you have to clean up your life in order for God to love you. Come to Jesus just as you are and embrace the acceptance that He offers you. The filthiest, most horrible sins you've ever committed were already paid for and wiped away by Jesus himself. Come to God, and worldly things will grow dim, while the light to Jesus shines brighter than ever before.

This little light of mine

Sharing my faith is hard. It's uncomfortable. It makes me feel stupid sometimes when people ask questions I don't know the answer to, or I fumble over my words. A lot of times I feel guilty because of the sin that's plagued my heart. I don't want to just be labeled another hypocrite like so many Christians are labeled these days. I also don't want to be that "weird girl" that doesn't have friends, which stems from my idol of approval (see blog post number 1).

But you know what? That's all so selfish of me. And when I think of the grace of God, and of Jesus's sacrifice for us, I realize how unimportant my own feelings are. I realize that it doesn't matter if I fumble over my words. I can't save people. Phew!! What a comfort. To know that someone's eternity doesn't depend on whether I say the right things or not. However, I am the vessel that God uses to speak to them.

You can't just assume people know who Jesus is. I've been shocked and surprised at the lack of knowledge people have. You assume that people living in foreign, unknown lands have probably never heard of Jesus, but here? In Raleigh? In America, where we can practice religion freely without fear of persecution? Down here in the South, where there's a church nearly on every corner? 

Don't just assume because someone taught you about God that your neighbor knows. In fact, I think it's pretty safe to assume that a lot of peoples knowledge of salvation may be skewed. That's a call to me. That's a duty of mine. As a disciple of Christ, I can't just sit around and let other people wonder to themselves. As uncomfortable as it may be, taking a stand for Christ is what I was called to do! Look at this passage in Romans 10:

How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” (Romans 10:14, 15 ESV)

I come in contact with people every single day that aren't believers. I interact with some people who literally despise God, some that think good works are good enough, and some that just don't really know enough to make opinions. And that's where I come in. That's where I can let my light shine before others, so they can know that I work for a greater purpose (Matthew 5:16). 

And I see God's faithfulness in full force! I've had families start going to church again through me loving Summit. I've had coworkers come with me to church, after never going to church growing up. I've had someone message me on Facebook because she saw my love for Jesus and was interested, and now is running her own race full force toward Jesus. All because God chose to use little ol' me to speak His truths.

And it is all because I am not ashamed of Jesus. I am not afraid of rejection anymore. I am not ashamed to boldly proclaim God's love for everyone (Romans 1:16). I know God's call for my life to be brave and strong in the midst of struggles (1 Corinthians 16:14).

By the way, please don't read this and think that I'm perfect. Please don't assume that I run around every day with my bible singing worship songs and preaching the gospel to others. I am still a sinner. I am still unclean and stumble. But- I am a child of the one true King. I don't have to worry because Jesus paid for my sins on the cross, and He paid for yours too. It's not about being better than anyone else, it's about understanding that I'm the worst of the worst, and Jesus still loves me.

How can I not tell about the greatest thing that's ever happened to me?

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.....

Patience really is a virtue

Wait.

It comes as a heavy burden to most. It's not something that we do willingly, at least I don't....

I'm in a season right now where I find myself in a rut, for a lack of a better word. I've been out of college for almost 3.5 years now. I've had the same full time job since the day I graduated. I've lived in the same place for 2 years (and the same state for 25). I've been in love with the same man for over a year and a half.

I call it my mid life-mid life crisis. I'm ready for change. I'm ready for new. I'm ready for different. I want God to speak to me and spruce up my life, which I'm honestly bored with most days. I want to live somewhere else. I want to travel. Some days I think I even want to go back to school. And when it all comes down to it, what I'm really ready for, more than anything else, is marriage.

I've waited my whole life to be a wife and a mother. I've read multiple books about being a strong Christian woman, about dating, about marriage, and I'm so excited to one day have that. I see friends and acquaintances experiencing engagement, marriage, and children...I'm at the age where I seriously feel like every day I pull up Facebook someone new is engaged. Not only that, but can you imagine how many times I hear "when are you getting married?" Seriously people, salt in the wound....

But that one nagging word...

Wait.

But God, I don't want to wait. I'M ready.


Maybe I'm not ready for you yet.

I keep forgetting that marriage is a two way street. It's not just something that happens because I want it to. Marriage ultimately is for God. It's from God. It's a reflection of God.

And while I love Ethan, marriage carries a lot of responsibility, including ones that I don't even know about yet. I wonder how my quiet time will be affected when there's someone else in the room every day. I wonder how my prayer life will change when new struggles come for not just me, but my future husband. I wonder what my small group life will look like when my life is intertwined with someone else.


I still feel like I'm ready. And I think that's okay! Ultimately, this waiting period is teaching me to fully rely on God. Marriage is not something I can make happen on my own. I have to trust God. I have to wait for His timing to come through. This time has led me to a deeper prayer life. It's led me to seek more of God through his Word, and through books (Psalm 130:5-6). It's led me to have deeper friendships and accountability with my friends. As heartbreaking as it is some days when I wish I was married, I cry out to God with those questions and earnestly seek His response.

I know the day is coming, and I am super excited for it. I'm also so thankful for a man that I can pray with and seek The Lord with. Just recently we've been going over a verse together, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

What joys that await me....thank you, God!

"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

What do you crave?

Let's be real. Is there anything better than a freshly baked, hot, Krispy Kreme doughnut? That fresh glaze, the melt in your mouth taste....ahh....I crave them. Constantly.

We all have some sort of idol in our life. We have that one thing that we crave (in addition to delicious doughnuts). That one thing that we can't be happy without. There's absolutely no question about it. That's how we were made as humans. We constantly seek and crave any pleasure that can make us happy, successful, loved, and fulfilled. The problem, however, is that only God can truly satisfy and fulfill us, but that doesn't always sound as appealing to our sinful hearts.

I love being the center of attention. I enjoy making people laugh, and I am pretty awesome at talking....a lot. But when it all comes down to it, I can be a big phony. I crave acceptance. I crave for people to like me, enjoy being around me, and count me as one of their friends. Are any of these bad things? I surely don't think so, in moderation. It's totally okay to want to have friends, and it's fine to be talkative and personable...but that's kind of the point.

IDOLS DON'T HAVE TO BE A BAD THING!!! An idol is simply a good thing that you turn into a God thing. An idol is something, or someone, that you place more of your hope on than God.
See, here's where I struggle. Wanting friendships and attention isn't bad in and of itself, but when it takes the place that only God can fill, and when Satan intertwines himself into this desire of mine, it can quickly blow up in my face. I compromise myself for the sake of friendships. I want to be "cool" and "popular" so sometimes I'll include myself in the gossip, or I'll laugh at the inappropriate jokes, because it's better than being looked at like I'm weird. Sometimes I'll pretend like I am someone I am not so that I can fit in with others. And THAT is where the problem is.

Friends will always let you down. Your own feelings will always let you down. God won't. He is the one true constant. His love is never failing, no matter how many times I mess up. He forgives me when others won't. I experience JOY in His presence, and His presence alone. Philippians 4:19 says it in this way, "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

So what is your "doughnut?" What is it that you think you need? Where is God telling you to give up and let Him take control? I challenge you to really search yourselves. Trust me, the feeling of relief when you relinquish that idol is overwhelming.

"I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols." Isaiah 42:8